Are you an effective team? - Couple stories
|photo from sci fi interfaces and the movie OBLIVION|
There is only one way to act in a marriage and expect it to last, in my opinion. Be a team.
Your husband or wife is more than your lover, more than your friend, even more than the parent of your children. He or she is your partner, your fellow soldier, and you better make sure you got his back covered, and he has got yours.
This is not about love or sex, though these help a lot. This is much more. Being united against the rest of the world (your kids included) isn't always so easy, especially when difficult times or challenging ventures are encountered. But that is the time, that sticking together really matters, and you should ask the question: Are we an effective team?
There is , though, one attitude that can help you understand the essence of this strong bond. On the opposite from the commonly accepted idea that a marriage is all about compromise, I go for the "No compromise policy". Don't ever compromise, do your partner a favour just because you can and you want to. You love him, you want to please him, you like making him or her happy, and you are a giving person. If you believe you are compromising, you will start counting how many times you backed down, how many times the other one did, how important was your compromises compared to your partner, and so on. Isn't it just better not to?
However this can work only if the other part feels the same way. So don't compromise there either. Choose wisely the person next to you.